Archive for Legacy

| June 10, 2015
Comments Off on Individuality – Part 2

Individuality – Part 2

Explore new opportunities to start creating your own legacy while sustaining your family legacy

 

I must first apologize for the delay in getting Part II posted. I just finished up my MBA and had a great deal of final coursework to deliver.   If you recall from the previous post I broke individuality into two parts. The first of which was to Be Yourself, acknowledging that you may be similar to your parents but you are unique in your own way. The second part is Blaze a New Path. Before we dive in I must qualify these two posts with this statement, I am in no way suggesting that you should ignore your past, or your connection to your family. I personally believe that our history, especially our family history, plays a major role in defining who we are as individuals.

The first component of Blazing a New Path, as I see it, is the idea of a Family Business vs. a Family Enterprise. In addition to the business aspect there is the concept of wealth as an opportunity. The two principles align more or less at their core function. Starting with the family business, many families become attached to the physical business or industry in which their predecessors have worked hard to cultivate. There is certainly nothing wrong with remaining loyal to your family’s original business, but there are other opportunities that exist for you to explore, something that you could put your mark on as an entrepreneur or an innovator. To be a family enterprise is to view the family ownership group as an enterprise that invests and operates in several different businesses or industries. For example, if a family owns a real estate business founded by their father, as the business passes to the next generation perhaps they start a series of businesses that compliment their real estate business. Pretty soon the family ownership group expands into another generation, along with success in those aligning industries. Soon after you could have an enterprise that involves real estate development, management, leasing, general contractors, building material supply company, etc. I think you can start to get the picture. In the spirit of diversifying your portfolio you could explore totally different industries, so that in the event of another recession like 2008 a major real estate bubble wouldn’t cripple your entire enterprise.

When thinking about wealth as an opportunity I think of money in this context as a vehicle to invest in many different industries. Many of the families we encounter struggle with the concept of selling their business; they like being a family business and are worried that if they sell out they will lose that part of their individual and family identity. On the contrary, I would say you’ve just closed one book only to start writing a new one. The world is your oyster so to speak; all of the hard work to become an integrated and professional family ownership group can be applied to new forms of investment. The wealth that you’ve generated through the sale of a business or through inheritance can be used as a liquid asset for investment; this is an exciting time period for you because the canvas is totally blank.

These two alternate pathways is why I encourage young people we work with to cultivate personal interests. Personally I wish I read more books, I admire historical figures when they’re described as being vivacious readers such a Theodore Roosevelt. By reading you are learning something and opening your mind up to exploration. The personal interests you cultivate will serve as the foundation for your future enterprise. I have a personal interest in clean water projects, water sustainability, and education. I am saddened whenever I read about places where clean water is so scarce people will literally walk miles to collect some to bring back to their families. Or that in some places 80% of diseases that are treated are due to water born illnesses. I am also terrified with the over consumption of water, and the fact that our most sacred resource on the planet is not oil but water. Finally, I have been given the gift of education and I desire in life to pay that forward. So if I suddenly found myself very wealthy, or my business had a surplus of capital, I’d probably invest in one of those areas that are special to me. You will cultivate your own interests if you already haven’t, and in so doing you are opening your family enterprise up to a whole new world of opportunities.

The final point of discussion centers on the question that probably is starting to creep into your mind. How do we make this all happen? I don’t have all of the answers, and quite frankly there is no ONE right answer. Your family has a specific set of circumstances that will dictate some of the paths you would take. The first place I’d start if I were in your shoes is with a conversation. I know it sounds cheesy, and in some ways even a conversation might seem impossible. But the best way to launch into a new enterprise is to start talking about it. If you recall I also had a post a few weeks ago about how to pitch new ideas. If you’re a lot younger you can explore the idea of parallel pathways with your parents. You and your parents can design a parallel universe that mirrors your experience starting a new enterprise, or owning the family business. During your time on that parallel pathway you will want to design a series of experiences that will develop the competencies necessary to work in a “live environment”. An easy and very minor example of this is to have your parents give you a budget, and you and your siblings design and plan the family vacation this summer. This exercise will teach you compromise, negotiation skills, planning, logistics, and how to work on a budget. There are a lot of different options and examples of things families have tried, but the ultimate purpose is for you to experiment with your competencies in a “safe” environment, meaning a failure won’t result in loss of jobs or significant capital loss.

The core value of the Blaze a New Path concept is that often the next generation believes they’ve missed out on an opportunity to make something of their own, or to create something from nothing the way their parents did.   In truth though, each succeeding generation has the opportunity to generate just as much from nothing, in a sense, than the previous one did. The next generation just has the luxury of a pool of resources that maybe their parents didn’t have, and that’s a good thing not a bad thing.

Good Luck

 

Practical Summary

  • View your family as an enterprise, not a business or a pool of money. This opens your perspective to opportunities for growth and exploration.
  • Develop personal interests; this will be your guide to future industries or enterprises you might invest in.
  • Start with conversations, and then explore a parallel pathway/universe to develop your competencies prior to going “live”
Category: Legacy, Personal Identity |
| May 13, 2015
Comments Off on Walk a Mile Both Ways

Walk a Mile Both Ways

Comparing your parent’s start to your own

 

*Note this post is intended primarily for the Next Generation Family Business Owner.

I can honestly say that upon reflection I don’t think I’ve ever had someone tell me a story where they walked a mile uphill both ways to work, or school, or wherever they were going. At this point I think the hyperbole in that anecdote is known to be just that. You may have had someone tell you this tale before, or not, but I’m sure if you’re thinking about entering your family business you’ve heard some story about how your parents, or grandparents, started that business and their story had elements of walking a mile uphill both ways. I know I’ve heard countless times the hard work, sacrifices, and challenges my parents faced while my dad was launching his career. Neither of my parents came from money, they both came from parents that have worked hard their entire lives. I have one grandpa that worked in a factory building farm equipment, another that drove a long haul truck for years. One of my grandmother’s families owned a potato chip factory, and she grew up working in that factory. My dad’s parents at one point were called to be missionaries in Guam and South Africa. I would be safe in saying that pretty much every penny that my family has they’ve earned through hard work.

My father got into college, as I’ve heard it told, because he was a very good hurdler for the track team. In high school, if memory serves, he was an average student typically pulling in B’s and C’s. However when he got to college he was determined to be a better student. He earned a BS in Psychology and immediately moved on to seminary at Gordon Conwell. Over the next few years my mom and dad would have four kids ages 6 and under by the time they were 30, they’d start three churches, and moved four different times to three different states with two different stops in Massachusetts. For whatever reason my father had decided to leave full time ministry and wanted to transition to some form of business. So they packed up the family, moved the six of us (and a new puppy) to Vermillion South Dakota where we’d remain for the next four years while dad completed his MBA and started his doctoral work. I recall stories from my mom about her walking through the grocery store with a calculator because she could only spend $40 to feed six people. I think at the time my dad was making $20,000, which even in the early 90’s was not a lot of money for a family of six. He must have done something right though, because after those four years, the Wharton School of Business hired him and we were moving again. The rest as they say is history.

Why do I bother to share any of these stories? What value could they possibly have for me today? Truth be told, they are an immense sense of pride for me. I am incredibly proud of both of my parents, for their solidarity, for their ability to grit their teeth, bear down, and work through tough times. I am proud that it seems to be an ancestral trait for my family. I am proud that they were able to make their own way like so many other families have had to do for years in this country, in my mind they are representative of the American dream. They worked their tails off so their kids could have more. I remember when I opened my first bank account at age 15. My mom took me because it was going to be a joint account between us. While sitting in the bank my mom was writing a check, it was the last student loan payment for my dad’s education. He graduated college in 1981, and in 2002 after a Bachelors degree, a Masters of Divinity, a Master of Business Administration, and a PhD they were paying off the last student loan. My reason for sharing any of this is not just my personal pride; my reason for sharing this is because it has value for how I determined to start my own life and my own business.

The next question I have to ask myself is; do I have to start the same way my parents did? Do they expect me to? I know that my parents didn’t want me to have to struggle the way they did. They helped pay for almost all of my education because they knew what it was like to pay for it all on their own and they know the value of a good education. At the same time though, while I’m in the early stages of my own business, while finishing my MBA with two kids and a wife, my father is quick to remind me that bootstrapping is a part of entrepreneurship and that at one point in time with two more kids and way more debt he was making $20,000. Knowing that your parents have walked a mile both ways uphill is valuable because you know it can be done, and if they could do it you can too. Your parents may want you to struggle a little bit as they did when you join the family business not because they are cruel, not because they are trying to pass the suffering on, and not even so they can “toughen” you up. You may need to learn the struggle for the same reason you need to learn failure. You need the struggles and the failures to develop resiliency against future struggles or future failures that will most likely be more significant than your present struggles. In some ways that sounds like just needing to toughen up, but it’s far less arbitrary than that. I love a quote from a recent article in the Economist. In the article Upsides: Old-fashioned Virtues they were looking at the family business Berry Bros. & Rudd’s. Mr. Berry said: “once you have survived the South Sea Bubble – a financial crisis in 1720 that caused the British economy to shrink by a quarter – you can see the 2008 recession in perspective.” I love this perspective.

My Berry didn’t live through the 1720 crisis, but his family did. The story became a part of their family legacy that inspired each generation to work hard as the previous generation, not for the sake of working hard, but to learn what it means to work hard. Is my life comfortable today, yes, in comparison to most of the world my life is a luxury. Are many of my peers making more money or living more comfortably than I am, yes. Am I living as uncomfortably as my parents, no. But I am challenged enough in my current life situation to understand what it means to overcome a challenge, to look failure in the face and know I can bounce back. I’m working today to prepare myself for tomorrow’s struggle. I know it doesn’t sound like fun, and I know parents can be annoying about what they expect, but more than likely they have a good reason.

My final point for this blog (sorry this is so long) is this. Knowing your parent’s story is important, accepting the requirements for your entering the family business is often easier said than done. I don’t want to say you have to blindly accept what they ask you to do, but in my experience, if you offer yourself up for mentorship and guidance from someone, you have to give yourself over to THEIR process. When I decided to enter the field of family business consulting and my dad and I started to talk about what my path would be, I was willing to accept whatever process he decided on. I read the books he recommended, I enrolled in an MBA when we talked about the value it could have for my career, and I’ve committed to not pay myself all that much while my business is in its infancy. None of those things have been easy, two out of the three have put significant pressure on my young family, but I willingly walk on this path of mentorship because I know what the hard work and sacrifice can produce. I know that because I know my family story, and the legacy of hard work. I wish you the best of luck on your own journey, and would strongly encourage anyone that is deciding or has decided to enter the family business to learn your family history, and give yourself over to the process.

Good Luck

 

Practical Summary

  • Learn the history of your family and their business. The life lessons could be invaluable.
  • Give yourself over to the process and be willing to walk however many miles up however many hills you are asked to walk.
Category: At Work, Family Dynamics, Legacy, Personal Identity |
| April 8, 2015
Comments Off on Identity

Identity

Do you have a personal identity outside of your family business or your money…if not you need to.

 

The concept of Identity is the third part in the series of posts starting with The Power of Your Family name followed by Nepotism. I qualify this post with this disclaimer; I am in no way a psychological authority, all of my knowledge is experience based and loosely based on a good amount of reading and conversing I’ve done on the subject. There are more experienced and knowledgeable people to discuss this topic than me; I am simply going to give you some of my experience as always on the topic.

So why would I bring up what appears to be a highly psychological term in relation to your family business? Have you ever heard about a founder of a company retiring and within a few short months passing away? In my opinion a lot of that has to do with their reason for getting up in the morning is gone, a part of their identity was lost when they retired. Similarly we often see families struggling with the notion that they could, should, or would sell the family business when it’s clearly the best financial decision for their family. The reason being is their personal identity is wrapped up in that business and if they sell the business their parents, or their grandparents created then they are losing a part of themselves. The truth is that doesn’t have to be the case. I’m not saying you shouldn’t value the business highly because of the meaning it has to your family, I’m saying that if you looked deeply at the nature of the legacy your family left to you in that business your identity may not be tied to the mom and pop shop that started in their home. The concept of a personal identity is so critical because you need to be more than just the family business or just the job. Neither of those things is eternal.

Also exploring a personal identity is important so you can differentiate yourself from your surroundings and not personalize the challenges that face you in the business or that face the business. My personal identity today, I’d say is based out of being over parentalized as a child, meaning I was treated like one of the parents when I shouldn’t have been, and a fear of something bad happening to my family. This drove me to become incredibly responsible and always try and do the “right thing”. In addition to that I’ve had a lot of wonderful people invest in my own personal development, so I’ve found a passion for learning and helping other people find their passions and achieve them. Can you start to see how my personal identity is more than just my business but in many ways has led me to this industry? If I had to close up shop tomorrow would anything change about my passions and identity… absolutely not. I might just look for other opportunities to help guide people to their passions and show them love like a parent would. That piece of my identity will carry me until the day I die, and won’t be dependent on my occupation.

I’ve already briefly addressed this, but the danger of not having your own identity prior to entering your family business is you will create your identity around that business. The danger in that scenario is you won’t be able to think objectively about the business anymore because it’s become a part of you. The other fear is that you’ll seek to emulate whoever is guiding and mentoring you in order to become them. Learning from a mentor, and adopting certain behaviors you’ve identified as making them successful has its merits. However you cannot become that person even if you are in line to succeed them. The reason you shouldn’t want to and can’t become them is you’ll never be able to act with the same degree of moral authority that they have. The founder of a company can make unilateral decisions because he’s the founder of the company. But the next generation leader and anyone else to follow didn’t create the company, so no one will buy into their unilateral decisions the way they did for the founder. You have to find your own true self, your true style, and your true reason for being in that business.

The same reasoning behind having a personal identity prior to entering the family business can also be applied to inheriting wealth. There is a much larger discussion about identity in relation to money, but for the time being we’ll touch on this briefly. You are not your money, your wealth, or the possessions you have. You MUST be more than that. The reason is, the moment you lose any of it you lose part of yourself. In that moment all you will live for is getting it back. If I became infinitely wealthy from my occupation and suddenly lost it all would anything about my identity change…again absolutely not. I’d still be a father, I’d still have a passion for helping people find and achieve their passions, and I’d still be a constant learner. Nothing about who I think I am would change, just like if I suddenly became infinitely wealthy nothing about me would change. The reason there is a distinction here is that money is much easier to lose than a business. Also in both cases, but more often with money, there will be people around you that will try and get your money just because you have it. Without a sense of personal identity you will start to think the only way to relate to people is around giving them money. This is so false and scary to see happen to people. Once again, you are not your money, and it should have nothing to do with who you are.

Finally, there are some people reading this thinking: “I have no idea how to do any of the things he’s talking about here”. Or some may be thinking: “shoot, I’ve already joined the family business, now what”? Well the first thing I’d say is to not panic. The world will not end tomorrow if you haven’t done anything about this. Also, there’s a chance you already have a differentiated personal identity you may just not be aware of it. I’d say to someone looking to figure out what their personal identity is, is to start searching and learning. Start reading books to help you identify key points of your life that have been a part of your development. I’d also highly recommend sitting down with a therapist and exploring your family of origins. Conversing about your life with a coach that’s capable of helping you frame your thoughts can be very powerful and effective for this search process. I’ve also spent almost my entire adult life reflecting and analyzing almost all aspects of my life so there’s another place you can start. Ask yourself questions like: does anyone else in my family, or anyone I know think this way? Was there an alternative choice to the one I made? Why did I make THAT choice?

I’m hoping that this post and the previous two have given you something to think about and haven’t been daunting in concept or work to walk away with. I’m also hoping that haven’t been too trite or pithy and that there was real value here for someone. My ultimate goal here is to reflect on my personal journey and connect that conceptually to your own path into your family business or with your incoming wealth. I wish anyone the best of luck with this work, it’s never easy but have courage in the fact that you’re not alone.

Good Luck

 

Practical Summary

  • Having a personal identity is vital to your survival in the family business or when inheriting wealth.
  • The danger is that you will become your business or your money and if either should ever be gone you will have lost yourself as well.
  • Start with self-exploration and learning to help you develop your personal identity.
  • Don’t be scared about the work or the journey, you’re not alone.
Category: Legacy, Personal Identity |
| March 25, 2015
Comments Off on Power of The Name

Power of The Name

The access and respect given to you with your name

 

I have three related topics; one I’ll cover this week and the others over the next two weeks. The topic for this week is The Power of Your Family Name. If your last name is Rockefeller, Vanderbilt, Ford, or Firestone chances are you’ve had a conversation about the power of your family name. Growing up I always wanted to have an epic family name, as if one day someone would pull up and tell us we were some long lost descendent of some powerful King or something along those lines. But having worked in this industry for a little while now I’ve come to see that you don’t have to have an epic family name, or be of noble descent in order to have power in your family name.

In most circles the name Habbershon is not interesting or meaningful in anyway. But in the family-business coaching world it garners enough respect that I need to tread lightly in those circles. I’ve had multiple encounters with people connecting with me here and there trying to get connected to my father. I have had experiences professionally that I wouldn’t otherwise have if it weren’t for my last name. I’ve also been given respect that I haven’t earned because of my last name.

For those Spiderman fans out there you know that with great power comes great responsibility. At some point in time someone in your family did something to warrant an abundance of respect associated with your family name. In my case, in my professional circle it is my father. I have, and you have an obligation to respect their hard work and act responsibly around that family name. When I started this blog I had two intentions, the first was to offer a different perspective on topics I hear taught regularly. The second reason is this represents an opportunity for me to make a name for myself. However, because I share the same name as my father, I showed him the necessary respect of him and our name and discussed this with him first. I may be (I’m not by the way) infringing upon his name with the topics I choose to write about or the things that I say.

I recently had a friend talk to me about how he wished he had a family connection like mine in his own professional setting. He kept talking about how he would take advantage of that opportunity if it were presented to him. You may recall from the Decision post when I talked around the thought process of taking the easy road and just following in your parent’s footsteps. If you remember what I said, there’s nothing easy about deciding to follow in your family’s footsteps. I said it then, and I’ll repeat it here; I used to think I had to do something on my own, separate from the work my father did. But that idea would mean I’d be passing up a foundation that my father laid through his own hard work. Rather than start totally new making a name for myself, why not build off of the powerful name that has already been created. Understand though that this is not an easy task. You will be weighed, and you will be measured against that name always. Expectations will be heaped upon you. In addition to that, there will be some around you that discount anything you do because “your name is the only reason you’re here.”

To anyone brave enough to walk this road and brave the expectations, to carry the weight of responsibility, and to endure foundationless ridicule I say: “good for you, let’s talk.” For anyone that chose a different path from their parents, and maybe want to blaze their own trail I say: “good for you, we should still talk.” There is an alternative perspective to mine, and it’s the person that decides to not enter the arena of their family name. There will still be times when you cannot escape your name, and that is okay. Don’t always feel like you have to. The one thing I wanted to convey with this post more than anything is that your family name is exciting and unique. Maybe it has a terrible reputation, maybe you are a Rockefeller, and maybe no one knows who you are. No matter what the case learn to be excited for your family history and whatever power comes with that.

 

Practical Summary

  • Your name has power, sometimes more than you may be aware of.
  • Respect the power of your name and act responsibly when using it.
  • It is not easy to follow in the family name, know that you are making a difficult choice for a tough road.
Category: Family Dynamics, Legacy, Personal Identity |
| February 11, 2015
Comments Off on Entitlement

Entitlement

The internal tension between what you think you deserve and what you actually deserve

 

If you read the previous blog post you can imagine where I stand on the issue of entitlement. I am going to try and not sound too harsh with this post but this subject is very important and one that I’m impassioned about. All too often I get into conversations with next generation family business owners or future inheritors of wealth and they are constantly talking about what is owed to them and they are talking about the terms that they think they deserve. On the flip side I don’t have enough fingers or toes to count the amount of parents that have created terrible family environments because of the fear that they have around their children becoming entitled. So the message I have here today is for the next generation business owners and future inheritors of wealth on how to not be entitled and how to put your parent’s fears to bed.

The first thing I’d say is adopt the idea of merit being the basis for everything. Just like last weeks post this should be something you internalize. You deserve nothing, you get only what you earn. You may receive a bit more than you truly deserve because your last name is Smith or Johnson, but that is all just gravy. I suppose this point is for parents as well, your son or daughter should not be given the keys to the kingdom just because they are your son or daughter. Assess, or better yet have an objective party assess their skills and the merits for which they should be promoted. This concept becomes tricky when you aren’t dealing with a family business transfer, but simply a transfer of wealth. In that case I’d suggest to the parents to start a transparent conversation around why the family has wealth, what the money is intended for, and what your wish is for your kids surrounding that money. Hiding the fact that you have money and that will one day it will transfer to them, or withholding it for a long period of time will only breed distrust. The conversation though, will open up a forum for discussion that will inform your children about the wealth legacy you hope to leave. This is a powerful conversation that significantly diminishes the probability of entitlement.

The second reminder I have for the next generation is this: you don’t set the terms. For whatever reason my generation is rampant (I’m guilty as well) with young people that think they get to set the terms of negotiation. Honestly, who do we really think we are? Personally I think we see stars of our generation achieving success so early that we in turn think WE are special. That sounds a bit harsh, but the truth of it is when you think about what you’ve gotten away with in your lifetime thus far, wouldn’t you say you’ve been a bit bold? I know I have. I recall, and hopefully he won’t be upset with me sharing this, when my brother was attempting to start a new venture with my dad. My dad, being my dad, had a very pointed conversation with my brother about ownership before they even started. He asked my brother if any of his siblings would have any rights to ownership; my brother’s response was what anyone would have answered…No. He was doing all of the work; it was his idea, why in the world should his siblings reap the benefits? My dad’s response was simply, who is supplying the capital? My dad was, so he got to set the terms. If he wanted to make his portion of ownership a part of his estate, and the four of his children had equal claims to his estate then my brother should have been prepared to have three partners some way down the line.

I don’t share this story to embarrass or ridicule my brother; honestly I would have answered the question the exact same way. But my dad was right, it was his money and my brother had no entitlement to it, so my dad got to set the terms. I use this story to illustrate the point that even in a family that does not come from or have a lot of money, entitlement can still creep in. This story also is intended to illustrate that the person who is supplying the capital sets the terms, vary rarely is that the next generation.

The final point is this; if you want to work on placating your parent’s fears about you being entitled, just work. I mean really work hard. Work as if this is the job you were born to do. Don’t do it because they expect you to, and don’t do it because you know they want you to. Work hard and long because at the end of the day you’ll know you earned every dollar you made. You will remove any doubt about your intentions for the family business, or your intentions surrounding the money you may inherit. Work as if you don’t need what they are willing to give you because you would make it on your own. Don’t talk about how you’re not entitled; show them.

I’m hoping that at the end of this post I wasn’t too harsh, I can empathize with the feelings of entitlement because it’s something I battle against all the time. I challenge myself to go the extra mile always, and I never want to be handed anything, I want to earn it. My hope is that with this message you can see more clearly the fears your parents have, and how you can positively change their perspective with your own actions.

Best of Luck

 

Practical Summary

  • Merit is the basis for everything.
  • You don’t set the terms.
  • Work to placate your parent’s fears, by working.
Category: At Work, Family Dynamics, Legacy |